Knowing few pointers when visiting a Japanese home, especially for the first time, will make the visit less worrisome and more enjoyable. The Dos and Don’ts below may help you further understand the culture while clearing some fog over the unwritten customs that Japan often tends to have.
Do Arrive Right On Time
Japanese culture is known for being stricter on time matter than some others. But, arriving too early is also rude to the people you're visiting as they may be still cooking, or finishing preparations for your visit. Arriving too late is of course the rudest thing, so just let them know if you are late more than 10 minutes.
Don't Take Company without Asking to the Host
If you want to bring along a friend, it would be considerate to ask ahead of time. Showing up with someone without asking is considered disrespectful. The host won’t refuse the company, but it causes problems with seating, or a food and drink shortage, which the hosts hate most.
Do say the simple phrase, “Ojyama shimasu”
“Ojyama shimasu” is a phrase often used by the guests to the host by pointing out that you are now entering their space. The literal translation is “I will be bothering you.” Of course, the phrase is not intended to be used for those who is actually going to be bothering the host on purpose. Instead, the phrase shows appreciation of you being invited into their home, and acknowledging that your presence can possibly be bothersome. Show respect to your host by saying this phrase right when you enter their home.
Don’t enter their home with your shoes on
As mentioned in the genkan article, in almost all Japanese homes, there is a genkan, or entrance hall, right after you enter the door. It’s where you will greet the host and take off your shoes before proceeding further inside the home. For good mannerism, flip over the shoes so that the toe end is facing the door. This will make putting back on the shoes easier and smoother when you leave the home.
Do wear stockings or socks
It depends on how much you are close to the hosts but basically, you should not visit them with barefoot and sandals. You cannot enter the Japanese home with barefoot, which brings your dirt to another people’s home. You should wear stockings or socks.
Also, boots should be avoided. It is hard or taking time for anyone to take off or wear boots
Women also should not wear tight skirt because it is hard to sit on the floor or to sit on the fluffy sofa with it.
Do bring a Temiyage, or a small gift
In Japanese culture, it’s common for the guests to bring a small gift called temiyage or omiyage to the host. Temiyage can be literally translated into “hand gift.” Frequently, these gifts consist of small goodies such as snackable sweets, for instance. There are no strict rules to these gifts, instead, it is a great idea to have it neatly wrapped in gift paper. Most stores provide the wrapping service in Japan in complement to this custom.
Do accept if offered a beverage
In most cases, the host will offer you a beverage. It’s a part of the Japanese culture to give a warm welcome to guests. Politely accept the beverage and appreciate the accompany of your host. You may be offered some snacks as well. It’s also common to have your temiyage, if it happened to be food, shared with you with the beverage.
Don’t Sit till You Are Told Where to Sit
After being shown into the living room, it is the best to stay standing till you are told where to sit. Each home has a family member with their own "special" seat, so you cannot sit wherever you want. You should ask where you should sit, or simply wait to be seated.
Don’t ignore the toilet slippers
Although each home is different, some homes prefer to have separate slippers for toilets. If you see a pair of slippers in the toilet room, don’t assume that someone has left a pair in there by accident. It’s most likely that the slippers are intended to be used inside the toilet room. Simply switch over to the toilet slippers when going to the toilet.
Don’t ignore the signs indicating a good time to leave
Japan is a high-context country. Being able to read the “air” is generally expected. Nonverbal communication should be respected more so in Japan. Although it’s quite universal in all cultures that a host will not directly tell a guest in their face to leave their home, people in Japan will be less likely to directly tell you a piece of information that may move you towards ending your visit.
You may have heard before that in Kyoto, when the host presents a guest with ochazuke, a rice bowl with some toppings over tea or broth, it means that the host is indirectly asking the guest to leave. Don’t worry, this will not happen in real life. It’s just a comical tribute to the nonverbal communication that Japanese culture have.
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