I guess you are not talking about “my boss does not teach because I did not ask”, or “I feel like my boss is picky”.

Self-reflect, please. If the conclusion is really something like “this is an abuse of authority”, you must turn to some national associations or related divisions inside your company for help. Yet, as you just come and talk to a monk, I am convinced that you still think you can do something for the situation, am I correct?

So now, let’s talk about the Buddhist saying “On zou e ku”. Literally, it refers to the hurtful feeling, the torture to “have hateful encounters in life”.

You are going to see your boss tomorrow, anyway

It is not easy to communicate with someone. It is very much ideal if we could get equally close to everyone in life, but things do not happen that way. As long as there are individualities, we go along with some people, but not some others. We pump into someone we do not like, or someone we really hate. That is life.

A workplace does not embrace your personal preference. It is commonly said that “just look at the good side of the persons” if you want to get close to someone you do not like, or you hate. It is true. Yet, you feel sad when you fail. Down to earth, it is difficult to feel any good side from whom you once doubted “he/she is not kind to me?”.

This is “On zou e ku”. The phrase has a long history while it does not have a proper, efficient answer to cure the pain. That means, the pain has been torturing humans since the age of Gautama Buddha. No definite solution has been developed, not even in our modern time.

Life is full of worries and pains

Usually, a person feels the boss is not kind and abusing authority when he/she believes “I have tried my best, but I cannot feel any appreciation”- it is just a desire of being recognized. To accommodate the desire, you force yourself to get close to a particular target (your boss in this case). In other words, you put yourself in pain far before coming to the point “what does my boss think?”. Please self-reflect and think if you are just creating troubles for yourself.

We need to know the fact humans are suffering from worries and pains all the time. You amplify your own worries and pains if you try to seek for the non-existing answer. By no means you can get equally close to everyone, nor should you choke yourself for something you cannot help at all.
You ought to let go and believe “things happen”, and “we cannot help” and grasp that “just right” distance with people and things. That would, at least, make you feel better.

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